A writing that really paid off

I  am a guitarrist.
A guitar is an instrument for me with which I can express myself better than anything.

When I was 12 years old, I got a guitar from my brother. Out of sheer curiosity, I started to play the guitar. At that time, of course, I never thought that the rest of my childhood would be accompanied by it. One day in July 1994, I stood on the edge of the platform with a beautiful Spanish masterpiece "Antonio Marin Montero" on my back, the last present from my father, at Berlin Zoologischer garten. At the latest at that time, I knew what I wanted to be all my life. "A guitarrist"

Fortunately, I met a great teacher in Berlin. Prof. Wilczok was truly of great support for all but I'd like to say a very special thank you to her for showing me the direction of my study. From the freshman year, she gave me various pieces of J. S. Bach that are composed originally for lute and triggered my interest in the ancestor of our instrument;Lute. Not knowing what I did, I was stepping into the world of early music.

This was the moment when my vinyl record collection was expanded exponentially. Because it was the best and the most affordable way for me to listen to early music - thank goodness - even back then, there were plenty of second-hand record shops in Berlin. It was also a small box on the ground of an antiquarian bookshop where I found this record; "Das Schaffen Johann Sebastian Bachs serie H of Walter Gerwig" from Archiv.

Looking back, as a young student, fresh from Asia, filled with curiosity towards European culture, it might be pretty natural to have a strong desire to find something as soon as possible. Walter Gerwig had rapidly become my favorite lutenist and soon after my favorite instrumentalist. It had been my daily routine for a long time to imitate his articulations, to analyse his interpretations, to hear him playing for hours a day until my humble audio system made terrible noises.

The cartridge was broken. So I bought a little bit more expensive one. But when the second one exhausted in the same way, I decided to send it for repair. That was, however, a dangerous decision for which I paid dearly. After having paid more than for a new cartridge, I could finally mount it on my headshell again. Nevertheless, the tragedy was far from over. I simply couldn't be satisfied with the sound it made. It was clearly a new, but a bizarre sound which made me feel more uncomfortable day after day. The more my dissatisfaction grew, the greater became my desire to open up the cartridge and look inside.
----------> Philosophy



Biography
A s I eventually opened up the cartridge case, a fascinating scenery of microcosmos appeared before my very eyes. Especially, the view of the tiny magnet and the tinier diamond stunned me because I was then, at the very least, familiar with the fact that the interplay between them is where the music results from. Guided by unrestrained curiosity, I had bought 12 microscopes and hundreds of broken cartridges before I successfully managed to build a "sounding" cartridge. Even though it had taken me more than a decade by then, my earliest fascination hadn't ever faded away.

However, it was far enough away from my goal. As the short-lived joy of success slipped away, I quickly realised that I was not at the final destination, but at the point of departure because making sound is necessary but not sufficient to being a cartridge. A cartridge, I thought, was supposed to make "beautiful sounds". So I had spent the subsequent decade seeking materials and techniques for beautiful sounds.

One day, after I had completed with two modifications for the generator of my cartridge, I was listening to music quite happily. I was happy because the sound of the prototype seemed to be upgraded with the modifications I had made. I had changed a mere elastomer and had added some more turns of wire within the coil. But to be a bit more honest, it were actually small but not minor modifications, which is why I was even more excited about the outcome. A while after, I asked my wife how it sounded to her. My wife, who had studied music with me, said without any hesitation "It sounds just like you!"

What is a beautiful sound? There are some well-known criteria to meet to be a high-quality cartridge. Transparency for example? or balance? I appreciate those aspects. However, "If a cartridge could meet the highest standards of all aspects, is it a perfect cartridge?" If I were asked this question, I'd rather say "No" First of all, a cartridge can never make sound alone. Furthermore, after all is said and done, why we need a cartridge is to listen to music. I think, the only things able to listen to MUSIC are our ears. Since it always has been my ears that are in command of my work, I know how fully they are aware of their preferences and whether a sound was beautiful or not? They decide.

As I mentioned in my biography, I have been longer a musician than a cartridge maker so far. I don't know whether the fact is fully answerable for my current reflection but in recent times, I often think that the ideal Tedeska cartridge that I am aiming for might be like a guitar that I am dreaming of. Even masterpieces, for example guitars by Antonio de Torres or Rene Lacote, don't sound masterful in all circumstances. They need a right musician, a right composition, even a right audience perhaps. But when the moment is right, they unfold their full potential and leave us completely paralyzed. It would be a great honor if I could share such experiences with my customer.

Appendix
The pearl eye on the Tedeska cartridge has no function. It serves as a pure adornment like the one on the frog of a violin bow. But if you insist on having a function, I would quote an old lesson from the lutherie school "Place your right thumb on the frog, it will not be long before a melody sounds"


Thanks for reading - TEDESKA

Editorial supervision: Michael HS Lee, Gabriel HS Lee
written by J. Francesca Lee

베를린 살이29

문패: 쌍둥이 엄마의 베를린 살이29
주 제목: 만남

"람은 엄마에게서 태어난 것만으로 인간이 되는 것은 아니다. 거기에는 동물적인 나이가 있을 뿐 인간으로서의 정신 연령은 부재다. 반드시 어떤 만남에 의해서만 인간은 성장하고 또 형성된다. 그것이 사람이든 책이든 혹은 사상이든 간에 만남에 의해서 거듭거듭 형성되어간다.

   법정 스님의 „영혼의 모음“중에서 „만남“ 이란 글은 이렇게 시작된다. 내 인생의 만남은 유학과 함께 본격적으로 시작된 것 같다. 낯선 언어, 낯선 가치, 심지어 낯선 냄새까지, 쉴 새 없이 새로운 무언가와 부딪치며 살아가던 날에는 나는 누구, 여긴 어디라는 질문을 하루에도 수십 번씩 해가며 방황했던 기억이 난다. 하지만 돌이켜보니 법정스님의 말씀처럼 그 모든 만남들이 지금의 나를 만들었다는 사실만은 분명한 것 같다. 그리고 오랜 시간이 지나 낯설기만 했던 타국이 제2의 고향이 된 지금까지도 미처 만나지 못한 것들은 수 없이 많다.

   베를린 알렉산더 광장은 항상 사람들로 붐빈다. 그렇기 때문에 광장 한편에 있는 카우프호프 백화점 앞 둥그런 시계 밑은 종종 사람들의 만남의 장소로 이용된다. 그날 나는 남편이 선물해준 일본산 수첩에 끼울 속지를 사러 그곳에 갔었다. 독일에서 쉽게 구할 수 있는 물건이 아니었기 때문에 인터넷을 뒤져 겨우 찾아낸 곳이 그 근처였기 때문이다. 그곳에서 나는 난생 처음으로 종이가게라는 곳에 들어가 보았다. 종이와 필기구만 파는 가게였다. 너무 낯설어 몇 번 두리번거리다가 그냥 나가려는데 한 사람이 말을 걸어왔다. 그제야 가방에서 주섬주섬 수첩을 꺼내 보이며 속지 한 권 달라고 하자 그 사람은 알았다는 듯 고개를 한번 끄덕이더니 금세 어디선가 속지 한 무더기를 들고 와 각각의 특징에 대해 설명하기 시작했다. 연필로 쓸 것인지 만년필로 쓸 것인지, 쓸 것인지 그릴 것인지, 상상도 못해본 질문들이 쏟아졌다. 조금 있자니 손님인 듯 보이는 남자가 같은 수첩을 내보이며 이야기에 끼어들기 시작했다. 이 종이는 이렇고 저 종이는 저렇고 하며 경험담을 늘어놓자 한 여자는 또 필기구와 잉크에 대해 긴 설명을 보탰다. 그들의 수첩은 웬만한 미술관 하나가 부럽지 않을 정도로 눈부신 캘리그라피와 그림들로 가득했다. 살면서 수만 번 „종이라는 말을 내뱉으면서도 한 번도 상상한적 없는 종이들의 세상이었다. 

   그날 카우프호프 백화점 5층 카페로 돌아온 나는 새로 산 속지에 이런 일기를 썼다.
   „창문 밖 광장에는 사람들이 가득하다. 노란 기차가 사람들을 가로질러 지나간다. 긴 놈, 짧은 놈, 그것들이 지나간 기찻길은 어느새 사람들로 메워진다. 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 저 둥그런 것은 대체 무얼까? 20년을 살고서도 난 저 물건의 이름조차 모른다. 보이는 것은 왜 보이는 것일까? 만나는 것은 왜 만나는 것일까? 보고도 못 만나는 것들은 얼마나 많은 것일까? 올해는 남편 덕에 이 멋진 수첩을 만났다. 만나고 나니 만난 이들을 만난다. 만나기 전에는 만날 수 없었던 이들이다.

   법정스님의 „만남은 우리의 일상 속 작은 만남의 이유뿐만 아니라 소중함도 일깨워 주는 것 같다. 오늘 그 말씀을 다시 한 번 새기며 내 인생 또 하나의 소중한 만남이었던 서울&의 베를린살이를 맺는다. 

2017년 5월 11일 이재인
베를린 살이는 2016년 3월 ~2017 5월까지 한겨례 서울&에 연재 된 "쌍둥이 엄마의 베를린 살이"의 미 수정 원본입니다. 블로그 게재일은 2017년 9월 16일입니다.

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